@>~~~~ :::: GIVE ME A CHANCE :::: ~~~~<@

Once again, the heart shattered 💔 Just into the 4th day of 2019, the crush was crushed.  Making a silent prayer every single day for an opportunity to shed some light and pave the right path, hopefully together.  It might just be an ambitious prayer on my end but no being knows what God has planned for them.  It will take time to place the broken pieces together again.  Hand over heart, I felt weaker.  No answers to why I felt reluctant to budge from the spot.  Neither have I garner enough strength to verify the information.  For now, I choose to remain where I am as the wound gets mended.  My little elves will be around from time to time to sew that deep wound.  Once it gets healed, I shall bury that heart while I continue praying in silence. #prayforranger #whichkingdomareyou 💔 #doayangbaikbaik #MM

Thankful for being able to see 2019. 2018 was not the easiest for me. The challenges came fast and furious.  It was the year I officially ended the relationship with a being whom I put my heart and soul into.  Being cheated on is not an easy phase to go through but losing the right to care for the children was even harder.  Thankfully for the support from my family and friends, it kept me going.  I learnt the hard way that things happened for a reason and God knows the best.  Although I lost the right to see my babies everyday and my (used to be) better half, He gave me an opportunity to better myself, insyallah.  2018 is a wrap, over and dusted with and its time to flip the page and move into a new chapter. 2019 is a year i see myself pushing the boundaries.  May I continue to be given the strength to remain strong and I shall continue praying for that ranger to parachute down and lead the way to Jannah, insyallah =) #prayforranger #whichkingdom...

In need to do a re-marketing of insurance benefit for my mouth.  A higher coverage is much needed.  The intention is just to cruise along, no need to shine like a diamond.  Things not needed to be said, please control oh dear mouth.....don't say :/ #prayforranger #whichkingdomareyou #doayangbaikbaik #MM

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Finally I re-discovered my blog. Yeah! A space re-visited for me to share some thoughts.  My last entry was in 2009, after baby girl was born. Wow! Just to pen this down, the last 6 years has been challenging. Went through the hard school of knocks to realize that I am still loved.  I accepted for what I have lost, for God had planned something better for me. Every single day, I toughen up physically and mentally as I stepped out of the comfort zone.  The experience, though painful, had thought me a lot about the meaning of love and trust. These comes in pair, without one, the other can't exist. I am thankful for these challenges.  Regardless, I am now on a self discovery journey and I am glad for the great support system around me.   No matter how broken I am inside, a smile is a MUST =) As per BSB "Now let me show you the shape of my heart!" #doayangbaikbaik #MM

Nur Adriana Aleena filled our life with smiles ever since...

We stormed the rain and landed in the not so sunny side of Sentosa last Sunday. Hubby had his reunion with his childhood friends. They were talking about the 'old' times and the fun they had when they were growing up. Till now I just couldn't figure out how it works, we shared some common friends who stayed and grew up in Bukit Batok but we have never met each other...till like the day we met. The work He does, is simple amazing. At the end of the day, I finally got to eat mee bakso and learnt that Bukit Gombak was previously known as Bukit Candu. Not sure how true, but I guess its true lah, huh. Bottomline, though it rained, we still had a smashing day!

Finally...time to update the blog. Many things have happened over the past months but some are just not worth mentioning here. We will be getting a crib of our own pretty soon...some touch up work and we are ready to move in. Yeah! I will not mention anything about the location of our crib-to-be for now. We will be converting one of the rooms to be a chill-out room. Too many ideas are spinning in the head but we have yet to decide on the theme of the room. Once the keys are in the hands, we will be even busier. I will be moving to do something more interesting and exciting. So long to the wicked life and hello to youths. What will I be doing? Surpliseeeee....wait and read for more update. At last, the 'man' in Bali got married and got a baby boy. Congrats to him and his beautiful wife. For sure I will pray mine is a son too, so they can grow up and be best buddies like the daddies. I heard more stories and was too ashamed to admit anything. Be it the truth or they are just pull...

Monday, 29 Sept will mark the 1 year anniversary of the lost of our friend. Our memories of him are still fresh in our head. You will always be in our heart and our prayers will continue to go out to you.

Be right back...

"Happy" 2008 (indeed)! Good riddance...

My deepest condolences to the families who have lost their loved ones in the accident in Cambodia last Friday. Today marked the 60th day we lost a great friend. Hearing and reading about the news of the incident in Cambodia triggered memories of a great friend whom we wished were still here with us. Al-Fatehah.

Everyone have dreams, I am not an exceptional. I dreamt that I asked someone what do you want now and the replies were... "I want you. I want you to be safe. I want to protect you." I can continue dreaming. I will not get such replies. Hopelessly romantic. Haha. Well, everyone have dreams don't they? I dreamt that someone will proposed to me with dozens and dozens of blue roses too. I think I shouldn't continue watching "I Propose" on channel 5. A killer. Let's see what else did I dream...I dreamt that the head of the family is someone who is responsible, able to lead by example and show the right path to the family. Just too many dreams. I shall continue dreaming. Dream on...that's what they said!

Happy Birthday Tribute to Ashizam Bin Karim (1 October 1981 to 29 September 2007) We couldn't wish you happy children's day We couldn't wish you a happy birthday What more to say goodbye Remembered those days where they had to throw slippers at you from the window to wake you up Remembered the basketball court where they played soccer Remembered those days they stood by each other as brothers Remembered those days where they were up to mischief Remembered those overseas trips they enjoyed together, toiling day and night for the company Remembered those days where they quarreled Remembered the habit that we had where we simply talked like we were sitting yards apart Remembered how enchanting and mesmerizing your voice was Remembered how we tried talking to the taxi driver who couldn’t understand us Remembered you were there to listen when we refused to talk to each other Remembered we promised to take care of each other and we will You were always there when we needed help W...

I will be right back...

I have thought of the positive. I also have to list out the negatives. Here it goes...list that I have to give up to be able to follow the flow: (1) music - no similarities whatsoever in the type of music genre. not even close. (2) favourite guy frens - paranoid, insecure...u name it all (3) telephone conversation - can't even hold a decent telephone conversation for a minimum of 30 mins (4) local music stint - doesn't even give a sh*t and no interest to attend such events (5) favourite hangouts - the places are usually described as "merepek" (6) favourite gal frens (7) favourite TV shows - missed some episodes? hamburger used to save the day (8) sms - duh...hopeless (9) favourite food (10) being myself Is it worth to give up all these to follow the flow? My answer is no...so go figure

sekolah tinggi-tinggi, tapi bodoh mak bapak tak ajar budi bahasa ego besar, pride tinggi aku paham? mesti lah aku paham. tapi buat tak paham lagi elok. kurang masalah. yeah aku bodoh... memang pun bodoh, tengok lar partner nyer! paham? tak paham sudah...hurhur biar aku terangkan sekali lagi... ehem ehem ... i am who i am i be who i want to be if u dunch like who i am then, kau sila lah rilek tepi

Out of the blue I have this feeling to go for rides. I really wish the boy can come back now, at this very moment and take me to a fair. I want to take those spinning, bumpy rides. I just want to let out some steam, shout as loud as I can and no one would even ask me why. Get it? No? Nevermind, don't bother.... I was reading and commenting a blog entry by 1 of the bestest when it struck me that I have yet to tell the bestest any dates. Yet to tell them that I will not be expecting them to come in their most glamorous outfit, instead I will be expecting them to be rolling up thier sleeves and washing those pots and pans. The best job is always for the bestest friends. Agree? *winks* Anyway, I want to go to a fairrrrrrrr!!!!!!

I just feel different today when everyone is back in the office. The big guy noticed that I didn't talk much during lunch. He asked whether I'm ok. What am I suppose to say? No, I'm not ok? You got to choose, its either her or me? Crazy, next moment my letter will come in. So, I kept my cool. The boy, though far away was all ears and kept cracking jokes and sending funky sms-es. These made me smile and laffed my head off. Of course, the big guy noticed it too and asked what's with the cheeky smile as I read my sms. What am I suppose to say? My love one is cracking funny jokes to help me forget about the politics in the office? Hahah. I am not that crazy. I am now working towards a "sui" closure and after that, so long good bye...

I get all frustrated when ina and suzanna came into light. I might not know these 2 chaps but no matter what i rest my case....all are unrealiable i.e all are the same. Twisted fact, I can always do what I did in the past but I am not going to. Instead, I am going all mild and play the waiting game instead. I still have the time and opportunity to switch over to greener patch of grass. This entry will remind me of the fact that ALL ARE THE SAME and to keep looking for greener grass. I drop hints but it just doesn't get into the head. When I do the same to others, I wonder how they can manage to read between the lines. I am dumb. So dumb that I am not making the right decision. I am going to suffer the same fate...surely if I do not make the right move. Just my luck! Off the records, I had a dream couple of nights back. Dreamt that a friend passed away. Tried to get some news whether my dream is true but to no avail. Maybe the dream is shedding some light somewhere....I don't kn...

I am really tied down with work even during the weekend. No matter how busy I was, I still felt that I missed the boy. It has only been 1 week but I missed him lots. Maybe because his phone is out of range hence no funny and kick ass sms-es from him. No sms-es that makes my day. No sms-es that makes me smile even when I am down. No sms-es that keeps me going for the day. Last nite, a guy fren dropped me an sms to find out how was I doing and to find out when was the boy coming back. Made me sad coz he just reminded me of the boy....again. But managed to get some updates and feedbacks on the happenings around that I didn't have time to even bother about. Overall, I just need the boy to be back to hear about my squashed time table and make me laugh and drag me to the gym to work those frustrations out. I miss the boy lots... :'(